The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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