my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
