I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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