wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
They took my balls.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
