remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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