He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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