He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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