This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
