Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize