for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
