im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
