WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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