he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
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Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
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There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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