that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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