And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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