You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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