I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
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I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
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He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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