u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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