marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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