ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
