Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
