He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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