Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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