Do you still have your period?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
