Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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