So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Your dad touched me again.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
