I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
