I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
