Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
