Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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