The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
