Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
