It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
