Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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