can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
