can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
