Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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