At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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