please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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