This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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