Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
