I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize