do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm sobbing to NWA
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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