I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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