So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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