i don't like sucking hair
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
