Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
