rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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