they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
