You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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