Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
