i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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