well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
