I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
two words...techno handjob
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
