Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize