Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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