GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
