We're facebook friends in real life
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
