how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize