i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
