I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
