Say something about gay babies.
so let's talk penis.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
