She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
