So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
