I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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