remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
