Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
