Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
